if only i can

..it's been a while since i started falling inlove again...and still right now i am still inlove with him...
..he came in time that i was brokenhearted and the time i lose hope in believing in someone's promises and become a fool, and in time in which i lost my trust to everyone, and decided in believing in love that it exist, because for me during that time LOVE was only for fool who believe in it and it is the last foolishness that i would ever do again...and then suddenly he show me that there is nothing wrong to trust again,..and gave me again the reason to believe in love again...by showing me showing the sweetest acts that i couldn't imagine that a guy could do to me..and he also show me to take the past as a lesson and let my heart that was once broken to be my strength...he show me his not too much perfect world but atleast happy..being with him felt like i am safe and comfortable...i felt like the only safest place i could go is his arms...i never felt such feeling to anyone ever since, even the rush into my veins whenever we were together or the spark that i felt...it felt like it can't be compare to anything in this world...but then suddenly i thought everything is going to be fine between us..but then we need to be apart for some reason..
years pass..i try to go into a relationship but yet no one could do better than him....i try to forget him and move on but still nothing happen....as time goes by even though sometimes i was thinking and hoping he is the one for me...i was still bother by some reason..i love him but i don't want to be part his world ever again...i let go, but still many things around me keep pushing me to him....i don't like this anymore...i want him to be happy to someone else's arm...i don't deserve him and i am not the right person whom he should pursue,...i love him, but i don't want to be with him anymore...i want to say goodbye to every sweetest memories that we have...even though saying goodbye might be painful, but yet it is better, than letting him be part of my world and me part of his world...